Another tell-tale sign of a successful relationship is that it always leads us to personal and social growth. The reason for this is that love always seeks to become more of what it is. It seeks to complete itself, to fully realize itself. Such is its nature. When held in its powerful embrace our old conditioned beliefs, habits and emotions that constrict or diminish this love become conscious. They rise to the surface and the pain and discomfort that we feel sooner or later will move us to transcend these patterns.

“Unless the branch remains connected to the vine it will wither and die.” We all know the truth of this statement. Any momentary breach in the flow of love between two people is experienced as a tiny 'death.' The good news is that these difficult experiences of separation in our relationship alert us to where we need to grow and open to the flow of love. By being fully present to these expereinces, without trying to run from them, hide them or pretend they doesn't exist, we become conscious of the harmful attitudes and beliefs within ourselves that create them. In other words, we become conscious that we are separate within ourselves and that the separation within the relationship is actually a projection of our own inner separation or brokenness. What gives us the power and wear-with-all to look at this, accept it, and move beyond it is the love itself which we feel for our partner. It's this love, which is so real and life giving, that acts as the horizon against which we can see the unreality of our old conditioned beliefs, habits and emotions and transcend them.

When held in the grip of love partners who are meant to be together find within their hearts, like never before, the desire to become the best possible person that they can be. Spontaneously, naturally they seek to deepen their cohesion. Like a tree rooted in the earth their roots penetrate ever deeper into the enriching and challenging reality of love. And the life drawn from it causes their lives to blossom, as well as the realities that impinge upon their lives. Activities in which they engage, like work, pastimes, study, purchasing a home, a car, etc., all become extensions of that love and ways to support it. Here too there is the confrontation with resistances both within themselves and outwardly that they need to overcome. But again it’s the motivating power of their love that provides the grace and grit.